Moms often say in jest that they see their husband as an extra child in the family! As one mother explained, “A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old is more stressful because they should know better.”
Often moms aren’t able to cope with all they are supposed to do, not due to the lack of time but due to their spouses being a major source of stress on a daily basis. Yet another mom shared, “I’m exhausted emotionally and physically when my husband comes home. He feels like another job.”
Another major source of stress among moms is sharing household tasks with their husbands. Moms feel they end up doing most of the household and parenting activities instead of being shared with their spouses. It is however interesting to note that fathers indicated that they would like a little bit of appreciation for doing more than their share of parenting!
Most moms feel that though their spouses are committed, the pressure to get things done is still on them as moms. Others felt they were left to figure out parenting on their own without any input from their spouses. Many moms feel they are the only adult in the house as both their child and spouse demand for attention. As one therapist commented, “Marriage is a more difficult relationship than parenting.”
Moms Need Empathy and Understanding
Moms are stressed when they don’t find the time to do all the tasks that have to be done during the day. Moms are probably in charge of everything that helps children look, act and feel relatively normal, which is stressful. Moms feel that daily stress is lack of help from their husbands. Moms want husbands to empathise, understand and validate their wives’ anxiety and stress. These stress levels play a role later in life within the marriages and often even affects their wives’ health and longevity.
Tips That Help With Bonding
There are several tips for parents that can bring them closer together. If both partners have full time jobs make sure there’s a list of responsibilities that must be abided by. Just splitting up who does what can release a lot of stress and get a lot of work done. For instance, fathers can organise play dates, doctor’s appointments and can deal with the pick-up and drop-off. Mothers, on the other hand, can deal with homework duties and disciplining them and rewards. With smartphones and tablets, couples can keep a shared calendar in order to keep one another accountable and up to date.
Handling Chaotic Situations
Most moms are living in situations that are close to chaos. You, however, have different ways of handling it. You can keep our head down and work harder because no one can hit a moving target. Or you can try to overcome it with mind over matter. But ultimately stress always catches up with you, and your body will react in negative ways.
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